From Struggles to Strength: overcoming an eating disorder.
One uni student shares her experience building the strength to break through the barriers of her eating disorder, offering hope and inspiration to those who may be struggling with similar challenges.
From battling anorexia to becoming a student CrossFit athlete, Jessica Lawrence’s story is one of strength, perseverance, and the power of community.
Wellington-born and raised, Jessica moved to Christchurch to study Health Science at the University of Canterbury. However the 19 year-old has been interested in sports, health, and well-being for much longer.
Despite Jessica's “great upbringing", the subconscious struggle with her eating disorder, Anorexia Nervosa began at a young age.
Anorexia is an eating disorder characterised by the restriction of food intake which Jessica started dealing with during primary school and intermediate.
Initially, the issue was internalised, but it eventually escalated during her later years of high school, pushing Jessica into a "really bad place".
“I was extremely under-eating and excessively exercising,” says the student-athlete.
She identifies comparison as one of the biggest contributing factors to her eating disorder. “I was constantly putting myself down for what I didn't have and wish I did,” says Jessica.
"I think comparison is something all people struggle with... analysing how they compare to social media standards, measuring self-worth off appearance," she adds.
While battling the peak of her eating disorder, Jessica was pursuing her passion for CrossFit.
"I began to recognise I had taken it too far... surrounded by people who had goals that challenged their capabilities rather than achieving a certain body type," says Jessica, highlighting the shift in her perspective.
"I came to a point where I missed my joyful, happy, and healthy self," expresses Jessica, who shares that CrossFit, and its community, facilitated her healing journey.
CrossFit is all about functional fitness incorporating various elements including endurance, strength, flexibility, mobility, speed, balance, coordination, and accuracy.
Although it is considered a new sport, CrossFit has experienced rapid growth worldwide. It typically incorporates a mix of powerlifting, olympic weightlifting, gymnastics, and a range of functional movements.
"CrossFit improves overall fitness and strength with the community at its core," says the student-athlete.
“I wanted to become healthier and stronger for myself and my sport… but I still struggled to eat more and put on muscle because it was still my biggest fear,” says Jessica.
Over time through gradual improvements in her mindset and eating, she noticed a lot of growth in CrossFit after "plateauing for so long".
Acknowledging the constant battles, Jessica highlights that the closest people in her life helped her realise that it was okay to put on healthy weight.
"It's quite amazing to see how much you can grow when you're feeding and fuelling your body," expresses Jessica who experienced considerable changes in her mindset and goals.
“In CrossFit, there are no comparisons regarding body image because it's about what you and your body are capable of.”
Currently, Jessica is training at The Grassroots Club; a university student-founded and focused CrossFit gym. She looks forward to CrossFit because she can push herself, forget about her daily stresses, and see what she can truly achieve.
"I know so many young people are struggling with eating disorders and it's important to know you are not alone," says Jessica whose healing journey continues.
"It scares me to think it was destroying me, and how many other young people are going through the same thing,"
But the one thing Jessica says helped her the most, was seeking support - whether it is from family, friends, organisations, or a community, like CrossFit.
If you or someone you know needs help, check out some of the organisations that can provide support:
• Youthline - youthline.co.nz/helpline
• Eating disorder association of New Zealand - ed.org.nz
• Mental Health Foundation - mentalhealth.org.nz
Remember, you are not alone.
